Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
