This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
