his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize