Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
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She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
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Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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