Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize