Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
