i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
