maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
