we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The Olympian is in my bed
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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