Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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