Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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