Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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