Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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