JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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