physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
