When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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