Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
