i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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