It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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