Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
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just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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