A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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