I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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