I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i think i just lost a toe
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
