just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.