Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.

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(717): Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk. http://tfl.nu/z5dl

Replies (13) Good night (3802) Bad night (973)
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(937): View more from Ohio

bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome

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(937): bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome http://tfl.nu/t5r7

Replies (62) Good night (7720) Bad night (1329)
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(330): View more from Ohio

i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love

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(330): i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love http://tfl.nu/ix9b

Replies (26) Good night (6417) Bad night (641)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.

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(401): You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you. http://tfl.nu/6q4j

Replies (14) Good night (9303) Bad night (1040)
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(519): View more from Ontario

You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.

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(519): You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do. http://tfl.nu/ggug

Replies (29) Good night (6467) Bad night (1110)
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(510): View more from California

I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting

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(510): I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting http://tfl.nu/unrs

Replies (14) Good night (5672) Bad night (1279)
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(801): View more from Utah

He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.

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(801): He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often. http://tfl.nu/6bnz

Replies (31) Good night (10614) Bad night (1226)
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(815): View more from Illinois

New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.

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(815): New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink. http://tfl.nu/5ry5

Replies (13) Good night (6477) Bad night (921)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?

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(519): I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right? http://tfl.nu/a685

Replies (14) Good night (2836) Bad night (1544)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.

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(920): She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable. http://tfl.nu/tpm2

Replies (3) Good night (1868) Bad night (773)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.

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(507): Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it. http://tfl.nu/8sjw

Replies (7) Good night (1385) Bad night (396)
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(760): View more from California

Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself

(760): View more from California

Though I typed a half of that one

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(760): Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself (760): Though I typed a half of that one http://tfl.nu/upbv

Replies (7) Good night (777) Bad night (341)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.

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(412): I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit. http://tfl.nu/xhsp

Replies (3) Good night (439) Bad night (674)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?

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(203): Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish? http://tfl.nu/j5ph

Replies (2) Good night (615) Bad night (342)
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(815): View more from Illinois

We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.

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(815): We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever. http://tfl.nu/gebx

Replies (0) Good night (775) Bad night (539)

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