Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(520): View more from Arizona

Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday

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(520): Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday http://tfl.nu/ewfr

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.

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(479): Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships. http://tfl.nu/he2q

Replies (70) Good night (1850) Bad night (2812)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk

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(508): Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk http://tfl.nu/jmus

Replies (37) Good night (1676) Bad night (8939)
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(334): View more from Alabama

She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.

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(334): She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard. http://tfl.nu/xu4e

Replies (9) Good night (4352) Bad night (1393)
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(740): View more from Ohio

so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could

(216): View more from Ohio

did she say where she was going

(740): View more from Ohio

apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars

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(740): so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could (216): did she say where she was going (740): apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars http://tfl.nu/v42j

Replies (45) Good night (3878) Bad night (813)
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(614): View more from Ohio

i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.

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(614): i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious. http://tfl.nu/avof

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(740): View more from Ohio

Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.

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(740): Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins. http://tfl.nu/qxz4

Replies (39) Good night (8634) Bad night (1368)
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(312): View more from Illinois

just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.

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(312): just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes. http://tfl.nu/gk7e

Replies (15) Good night (1565) Bad night (3679)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.

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(902): I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying. http://tfl.nu/q9vl

Replies (14) Good night (4579) Bad night (1116)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex

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(519): I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex http://tfl.nu/b3wh

Replies (15) Good night (1210) Bad night (2513)
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(817): View more from Texas

It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.

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(817): It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart. http://tfl.nu/sgc5

Replies (19) Good night (2467) Bad night (1079)
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(941): View more from Florida

It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.

(1-941): View more from Florida

Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.

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(941): It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere. (1-941): Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine. http://tfl.nu/u4qq

Replies (13) Good night (3409) Bad night (895)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

There are cops on horseback in our back yard

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(609): There are cops on horseback in our back yard http://tfl.nu/25e3

Replies (7) Good night (1537) Bad night (610)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.

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(616): Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila. http://tfl.nu/3l79

Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (480)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.

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(770): Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money. http://tfl.nu/gg7b

Replies (1) Good night (668) Bad night (279)

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