I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost