Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off

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(310): its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off http://tfl.nu/w0tm

Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (897)
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(217): View more from Illinois

What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.

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(217): What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light. http://tfl.nu/5lx0

Replies (34) Good night (2079) Bad night (654)
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(847): View more from Illinois

3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.

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(847): 3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world. http://tfl.nu/xg24

Replies (21) Good night (3636) Bad night (504)
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(315): View more from New York

she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.

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(315): she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game. http://tfl.nu/gk92

Replies (28) Good night (3869) Bad night (534)
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(909): View more from California

dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

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(909): dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting. http://tfl.nu/kj58

Replies (11) Good night (632) Bad night (3504)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.

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(773): I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier. http://tfl.nu/mu3y

Replies (36) Good night (1299) Bad night (7438)
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(607): View more from New York

I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.

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(607): I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked. http://tfl.nu/k09k

Replies (12) Good night (4761) Bad night (839)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him

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(614): Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him http://tfl.nu/w6qf

Replies (19) Good night (5195) Bad night (1125)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it

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(412): I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it http://tfl.nu/mg8o

Replies (8) Good night (3364) Bad night (810)
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(310): View more from California

She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.

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(310): She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning. http://tfl.nu/tu4n

Replies (4) Good night (791) Bad night (1458)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?

(941): View more from Florida

I was attacked by whores

(609): View more from New Jersey

You threw up on yourself again didn't you?

(941): View more from Florida

They were strong whores

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(609): How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club? (941): I was attacked by whores (609): You threw up on yourself again didn't you? (941): They were strong whores http://tfl.nu/xoz8

Replies (7) Good night (2072) Bad night (608)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.

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(479): Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical. http://tfl.nu/g3fg

Replies (1) Good night (721) Bad night (373)
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(907): View more from Alaska

You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.

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(907): You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me. http://tfl.nu/qzmr

Replies (6) Good night (1329) Bad night (423)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...

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(978): You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again... http://tfl.nu/9z52

Replies (3) Good night (712) Bad night (253)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home

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(775): He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home http://tfl.nu/6g10

Replies (6) Good night (1026) Bad night (398)

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