did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today