Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  "You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB

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  (313): "You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB http://tfl.nu/8qh8
  Replies (4) Good night (1065) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i really like this girl i slept with last night

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you ask her out again?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married

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  (703): i really like this girl i slept with last night (202): you ask her out again? (703): yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married http://tfl.nu/y34d
  Replies (7) Good night (2853) Bad night (2402)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died

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  (860): Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died http://tfl.nu/dll1
  Replies (13) Good night (696) Bad night (2775)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.

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  (832): I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets. http://tfl.nu/n0nj
  Replies (8) Good night (4781) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them

  (718): View more from New York

  pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed

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  (203): there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them (718): pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed http://tfl.nu/7id4
  Replies (31) Good night (11492) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on

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  (562): Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on http://tfl.nu/30zy
  Replies (38) Good night (2587) Bad night (7808)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber

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  (216): We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber http://tfl.nu/uas6
  Replies (16) Good night (3953) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head

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  (815): I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head http://tfl.nu/qmtv
  Replies (18) Good night (1399) Bad night (1888)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room

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  (412): Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room http://tfl.nu/5tlt
  Replies (3) Good night (811) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul

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  (701): I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul http://tfl.nu/ufft
  Replies (8) Good night (1158) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever

  (347): View more from New York

  The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer

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  (718): cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever (347): The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer http://tfl.nu/lzsh
  Replies (1) Good night (1097) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride

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  (585): Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride http://tfl.nu/ym4t
  Replies (3) Good night (1132) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?

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  (612): Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic? http://tfl.nu/ja2v
  Replies (8) Good night (1041) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.

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  (937): Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level. http://tfl.nu/b08m
  Replies (6) Good night (860) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Sadly, she's the porn star that got away

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  (954): Sadly, she's the porn star that got away http://tfl.nu/sl2s
  Replies (3) Good night (371) Bad night (548)

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