My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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