you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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