READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my sisters under your porch take her home
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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