So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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