remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
