then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
