we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
