I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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