You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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