What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
