I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm both gender and math confused
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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