and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
