He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.