That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
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I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
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Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.