did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i just google imaged poop.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
