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• (248): View more from Michigan

  That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Not half as good looking as paul

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?

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• 

  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (972): View more from Texas

  I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.

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• (831): View more from California

  Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.

  (253): View more from Washington

  I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices

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• (585): View more from New York

  She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.

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