New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.