dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!