We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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