I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Do you still have your period?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
