Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize