return my video game
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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