Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
