you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize