you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
