I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
