seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
