dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
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Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
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After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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