he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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