We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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