Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
