but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
