Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
