Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I want you more than these girls want KFC
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm both gender and math confused
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
