I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
