SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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