windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
