How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
