I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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